We all want intimacy. Sometimes we help ourselves, and sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Through the ups and downs, the roller-coaster of relationships, I like to believe we can learn to recognize and improve both our weaknesses and our strengths. It’s a matter of choice. These relationship faux pas became a central focus in my 2017 book “The Bimbo Has Brains… and Other Freaky Facts.” Nobody is perfect, but we can all work to tip the scales in a more positive direction.


We gain intimacy:                                         We lose intimacy:
Open; Communicative                                      Closed; Evasive
Honest                                                                  Dishonest
Forgiving; Merciful                                            Unrelenting; Merciless
Attentive; Connected                                         Preoccupied; Disconnected
Accepting; Nonjudgmental                               Censuring; Critical
Compromising; Negotiating                             Inflexible; Heartless
Aware ; Connected; Sensitive                           Oblivious; Distant; Unfriendly
Appreciative; Grateful                                        Overcritical; Thoughtless
Gentle ; Tender; Kind                                         Forceful; Harsh; Abusive; Belittling
Humble; Unpretentious                                     Arrogant; Domineering
Compassionate; Civil; Considerate                 Unconcerned; Insulting; Inconsiderate
Vulnerable                                                            Guarded
Trustworthy                                                          Untrustworthy
Consistent; Committed                                      Inconsistent; Wishy-washy
Caring; Considerate                                            Unfeeling; Apathetic; Inconsiderate
Positive; Gracious; Good-tempered                 Negative; Disagreeable; Ill-tempered
Respectful; Supportive                                        Controlling; Belittling; Contradictory
Loving; Affectionate                                             Hateful; Indifferent
Empathetic; Understanding; Perceptive          Hostile; Narrow-minded
Charitable; Humane; Big-hearted                     Pitiless; Cold-hearted
Encouraging                                                            Oppressive

About Cathy Burnham Martin

Author of 20+ books, and counting! A professional voice-over artist, dedicated foodie, and lifelong corporate communications geek, Cathy Burnham Martin has enjoyed a highly eclectic career, ranging from the arts and journalism to finance, telecommunications, and publishing. Along with her husband, Ron Martin, she has passions for entertaining, gardening, volunteering, active and visual arts, GREAT food, and traveling. Cathy often says, "I believe that we all should live with as much contagious enthusiasm as possible... Whether we're with friends or family, taking people along for the ride is more than half the fun."
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