This is one of those days… National Let’s Laugh Day. I like it. Laughter is infectious… in all the right ways! Everyone needs a mood uplift now and then. So, go ahead and share a giggle or a guffaw. Here are a few silly ones to get you started.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato
I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta
A termite walks into the neighborhood bar and says, “So, is the bar tender here?”
And now some delightful Points to Ponder.
(I wonder who has time to sit around and think of these things.)
The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.
Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.
Happiness is not having to set the alarm clock.
When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”
Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.
If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed. We’re having a meeting.
“Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo”.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags, or is it just me?
I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. Okay… Okay… He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.
Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.
Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.
So, you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom “John” and renamed it “the Jim.” I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.
Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
“On time” is, when you get there.
Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free…and three sizes smaller.
Lately, you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.
Yes, indeed. Several had me laughing so hard, tears came to my eyes. Have a laughter-filled day!
Today is a great day to celebrate Irish fun facts. Ireland is more than whisky, beer, rain, and green hillsides. But, speaking of beer, in 1759 Arthur Guinness signed a lease for the land on which the Guinness Brewery stands. That lease is still in effect, as its term was 9,000 years.
There are some 30,000 standing castles or castle ruins in Ireland. (And, yes, I have kissed the Blarney Stone at the famed Blarney Castle.)
Last, but not least, St. Patrick wasn’t Irish. Born in Roman-Britain, he was kidnapped by Irish raiders and sold into slavery to tend sheep at age 16. He later returned as a missionary and is credited with the Christianization of Ireland in the 5th Century. His name was Maewyn Succat, but Patrick became his name when he was ordained as a priest. St. Patrick’s color was blue, not green. The transition to green is thought to have been the result of connecting symbolically with clover. March 17th is the date on which it is believed that St. Patrick died in 460 AD.
“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”
Annually, the 2nd of March commemorates the Commonwealth of Nations as a show of solidarity and a time to renew vows of international cooperation. Originally called Empire Day, as a nod to the British Empire, this is noted as a time to address global issues of the 2 billion-plus people who constitute the nations of former British colonies.
One highlight was touring the famed Biltmore in Asheville, NC. Such fun we had in our time together, sharing memories, catching up on family happenings, bemoaning our nations’ political meanderings, and celebrating being alive.
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane, and the pessimist the parachute.”
While we salute National Popcorn Day on January 19th, March 10th is Popcorn Lovers Day. And I love popcorn, so count me in… whether it be buttered, caramelized, cheesy, kettle corn, or chocolate drizzled. Popcorn, a GMO and gluten-free treat, is also a high-fiber and antioxidant whole grain, which can reduce our risk of diabetes, heart disease, and hypertension. (Okay, for the best health benefits, we must forgo all the yummy toppings.)
First discovered in Europe’s Mediterranean region, celery has plenty of health and healing benefits. High in fiber, vitamin K, folate, and potassium, celery is good for digestion and lowers blood pressure. It’s a dieter’s delight with a mere 14 calories per cup.
Celery is delicious both cooked or raw, and we can eat it all, from the roots to the leaves. It’s used in salads, casseroles, and soups. In fact, along with onions and carrots, celery forms the famed Mirepoix, the French base that flavors soups and stews. Another favorite is celery stalks (& either ranch or bleu cheese dressing) alongside Buffalo-style chicken or cauliflower. And stuffing for a duck, chicken, or turkey would be foul without celery in the dressing mix. (Yes, pun intended.) Further, what’s a Bloody Mary cocktail without its celery stalk stir stick? Nada, Baby!
So, let’s get cooking!
Creamy Celery Soup
You say pancake. I say flapjack! They’re both the same. This is also true for hotcakes and griddlecakes, which are types of pancakes.
Because I am in the U.S., I’ll stick with pancakes on this day. Go for a traditional presentation with a pat of butter and some warmed, 100% pure maple syrup on top. Or try a sprinkle of confectioners’ sugar, a variety of fruits or berries, and whipped cream. A favorite of mine is adding blueberries and/or freshly diced peaches in the batter. Oh, yeah! Chocolate chips are pretty remarkable, too… with or without sliced bananas and bacon bits. Various nuts and praline bits also blend beautifully.
Mom always exudes a positive attitude. When, as a child, I was the most exasperating and driving her crazy, she could always manage to answer the ringing telephone with a distinct smile in her voice. When I questioned how she did that, she would remind me that the person calling was not the one misbehaving. Good point. Though I admit that I do not always succeed, she taught me well to claim the positive and put my best foot forward. Thanks, Mom!
If our furry, 4-legged friends had thumbs, I think they could paws-itively give us a run for our money when it comes to many skills we may presume are out of their range. They would change the TV channel to “Animal Planet” or “Woof World.” They could hold their water dish or reach for a goblet instead. They might choose to play the piano or the guitar. They could snap a selfie, send you a text message (with a few typos, of course), or speed dial the ASPCA if we held out on treats. I’m barking to the choir here… they’d simply open the box and take out their own treats.
Just imagine the purrrrfectly amazing new tricks they could do. They could hitch a ride, play poker, and thumb wrestle to see whose turn it was to walk the human.
A must-read for all dog fans, the “Miles-Mannered Man” dishes up “bone-i-fied” servings of poignant, relatable observations, hysterical antics, and purely canine philosophies we all can follow. Miles captures hearts with his first-paw accounts of Life as it is and always should be.
“I received a letter just before I left office from a man. I don’t know why he chose to write it, but I’m glad he did. He wrote that you can go to live in France, but you can’t become a Frenchman. You can go to live in Germany or Italy, but you can’t become a German, an Italian. He went through Turkey, Greece, Japan and other countries. But he said anyone, from any corner of the world, can come to live in the United States and become an American.”
If you love peanut butter, it can become its own food group! Enjoy it creamy or chunky straight out of its jar. Or add it to smoothies, snacks, sandwiches, or Asian stir-fries.
Anyone in New Hampshire in the mid-1980s may well remember local television exploding into a new era. New York television advertising executive, David Zamichow arrived as WMUR-TV’s new general manager in 1983. Smart, determined, and as visionary as they come, he then began orchestrating Channel 9’s transformation as skillfully as the finest symphony’s conductor. WMUR grew from a station that often had ABC wishing the network could disassociate completely into a station they touted as an example for all affiliates to follow.
David Zamichow launched many young careers into journalism and beyond, encouraged staff to be their best, and involved the station in many charitable and cultural endeavors. He sent teams to cover major events from Washington, DC to Los Angeles, CA, covering Presidents and Popes… and internationally, from the Panama Canal to the opening of the Berlin Wall and the Superpower Summit in Moscow. His tenacity and team leadership developed programming that lifted WMUR from 4th to 1st place in New Hampshire over the bigger Boston market stations.
Named 1988’s Broadcaster of the Year, David Zamichow led Channel 9 into a solid first-place NH viewership that soon topped all Boston stations’ combined viewership in the Granite State, and ultimately into 3rd place in Boston itself, previously unheard of from an “out-of-town” station. After a decade in New Hampshire, he then charged full steam ahead for the next 2 decades transforming Toledo, Ohio’s WTVG to similar success.
“Believe it is possible to solve your problem. Tremendous things happen to the believer. So, believe the answer will come. It will.”
For National Tortilla Chip Day, I decided to share my Super Simple way to make nachos. I love them to be extra cheesy, and I will gleefully eat them at any hour of the day or night. Yes, nachos for breakfast are superb!
Hubby is a huge fan of bananas. When he has a few bananas that did not get eaten before turning too soft, I turn them into banana bread for him. On this occasion, I made him 2 loaves… one plain and one with blueberries, which go very well with bananas.
KISS Tips: I always replace sugar now with granulated monkfruit or coconut sugar, which work beautifully in breads. For a yummy topping, crush a favorite streusel square or nut cluster, such as those with pecans, mangos, coconut, etc. Also, if you need more bananas, you can substitute applesauce, sour cream, or even yogurt for the moisture. Try spooning half the batter into one loaf pan and adding ½ c add-ins to the other half of the batter before spooning into a 2nd pan. If using blueberries, frozen ones work beautifully. Simply keep them in the freezer until you a ready to use them to prevent your batter from turning blue.
On this day in 1950, a remarkable man was born. He grew up as an only child, but never lost his childlike love of life. He loved sports, from tennis, golf, and baseball to hockey and football. Boats, particularly sailing, became a passion that lasted into his adulthood. Music became a powerful theme in his life, and he played in bands when he went to college. Then he settled down… as much as a man who lives in the moment possibly can. Sometimes deep and brooding, often crass and over-reactionary, this emotional soul has a heart of gold. The father of 4, I met him later in life. We were engaged to be married 5 months later. Being a step-Mom for his children became an immediate learning experience… and an utterly fulfilling portion of my life.
Unwind today, National Drink Wine Day, with a glass of your favorite vino… with or without alcohol… with or without bubbles.
Celebrate National Almond Day with the timeless Almond Joy candy bar. Or a snifter with some Amaretto. (Or perhaps both.)
On the 15th day of the first month in the lunisolar Chinese calendar, Lantern Festival is celebrated. Usually falling in February, it signifies the last day of the traditional Chinese New Year celebrations. Lanterns can be very simple or elegantly complex. But this would be a lovely day to light a lantern, even if we cannot see hundreds of them flying into the night sky together.
Because this is Superbowl Sunday, it’s also National Pork Rind Appreciation Day.
Okay, potato fans, let’s talk taters! Any style will do… one favorite crowd-pleaser is the basic Twice-Baked Potato. Trust me, they merely sound fancy, but they are Super Simple! And dinner guests always revel in the flavors.
These make ahead to this point beautifully and can be refrigerated or even frozen till you want to serve them. Before serving, bake (after thawing, if frozen) at 350°F for 20 minutes to warm through and to crisp up the cheese on top a bit. It’s also fun to add all sorts of other goodies inside… from some dried onion soup mix or thinly sliced green onions to cooked bacon bits.